“So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed. I spread out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land. Answer me quickly, O LORD; my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.” – Psalm 143:4, 6-8
Have you ever experienced a deep sadness yet the reason for it was unknown? Yesterday I started battling an aching heart but I couldn’t and still cannot contribute it to anything. My lingering sadness, however helped surface memories of the past that need to remain in the past and my depressed state became a breeding ground for Satan’s lies as he tried to discount the promises God has made to me. I had a choice to make, I could either succumb to my emotions which would take me down a miserable and unhealthy path or call out to my Heavenly Father to lift me out of the mire. Although it would have been SO much easier to wallow, I FORCED myself to call out to God, to imagine Him reaching out to my face with both hands and holding my cheeks with His palms so that I couldn’t look to the right or the left, but forced to look at Him. I allowed sobs to escape my mouth and tears to run down my face, but I continued to talk to my Father. Throughout the day and evening I struggled with these unaccounted-for feelings. Even today they are still present. For whatever reason God is allowing them to remain. I just need to remember His constant presence, and that He is always loving, and is always loving me, and He always will hear me when I call out to Him.